I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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