At least make sure they are 18
Why
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
