yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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