Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
