U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
