Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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