omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
