Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This house was built for laser tag.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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