oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
