Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
