okay pat passed out under dana's car
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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