put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
