Define "chronic" masturbator.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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