Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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