his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
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Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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