He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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