Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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