so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
