I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
did i just pee glitter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
