i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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