There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
