I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
