I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
