The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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