I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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