I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
