Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize