I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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