Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
