I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
