whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just puked most of my soul out..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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