ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bring me that man meat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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