My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize