brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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