You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
