i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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