If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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