I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
