tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
