do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
