The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
