Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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