I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
