You work out of a Hotel?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Found the puke drawer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
