pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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