just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
