I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
