Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
