i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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