lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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