you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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