And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
