Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
