you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
