we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
