Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
