last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
