i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"it" just moved
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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