doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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