In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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