gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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