I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
