It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When are your genitals available?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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