It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
